Saturday, May 9, 2009

Journey, Part 10

During the ten year period that I went to the Foursquare Church, my ex and I split up and got back together twice, finally the third time ended in divorce in 2004. Also during this time the Lord blessed me with two cars at two different times, and with a house from Habitat for Humanity. I was also on a rotating schedule along with another group of women to be on the worship team. It was such a great time of growth for me in so many ways. At the same time however I began to have problems in other areas of my life. But I still walked by faith of knowing the Lord was going to healing me of the Cerebral Palsy I had spent a lifetime with. I received many different words from people saying the Lord was going to heal me, people who would not have known that I had already been told by the Lord that He was going to heal me. For a while I strived for the healing, and then as time passed I began just rest in the promise of healing knowing that my Lord does not lie, and He will bring His promises, and His word to pass.

Shortly after I had moved into my house in 2001 we found out my mom had a brain tumor, as a result of twenty years of her battlingoff and on with first breast cancer and then ovarian cancer. It was from the ovarian cancer, that the brain tumor developed. This devastated my family, but like always when faced with hard times we picked ourselves up and dusted ourselves off, and came together as a family in a united front. I was so angry, not at God, like He caused this, but that here my mom was faced with cancer for a third time in her life. I remember asking the Lord, how much more can she take Lord. It was like I did all my grieving for her right then, so that when a year later she finally did go home to heaven to be with our Lord, I was so at peace. Her suffering was over, and she was happy and pain free, living at peace in our Lord's arms. Don't get me wrong, there are times when I really miss her, but being a Christian I know I will see her again someday, because I know we both have the gift of eternal life from God the Father through Jesus Christ His Son ( John 3:16 ).

Being a single mom, life isn't always so easy. I didn't work, and received SSI disability payments, and was on welfare so I could receive cash assistance and food stamps. I also would have to go to the food banks once a month just so we wouldn't go hungry. After all the bills were paid I would have twenty dollars to get by with the rest of the month. This lasted for a year and a half. The loneliness I felt was unbearable at times. I had watched my daughter go from someone who loved the Lord so much, to one who wanted nothing to do with God. There were many many struggles between her and I. All communication between us completely stopped, and we simply came to a place where we didn't understand each other. We both were hurt and in turn hurt each other. Things were said and done by each of us that I'm sure neither of us are proud of. But God has a way of restoring relationships so beautifully. Three years later we have a good relationship. My daughter is now eighteen, out of school, and is working and living in the town I lived in before I got remarried. She is happy, and healthy. And I am so proud of her. What more can any parent wish for their kids. ---Believer

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