Saturday, May 9, 2009

Journey, Part 11

I finally got so lonely, and had been waiting so long for God to bring someone into my life, after a year and a half, I took matters into my own hands and put myself at some dating sites online. The problem was that most of the sites I was on were for people who were just wanting sex, and I was looking for something long term, I wanted a lifetime relationship. I just wanted to be loved and taken care of.

Unfortunately, I made some bad choices and began slipping away from the Lord, because I knew I was sinning, and didn't feel like I should act like I was serving Him, and sinning at the same time.I felt that if I did that I was being a hypocrite so my church attendance stopped, and I began to slip back into old habits before I had come back to the Lord. I began talking on my web cam to someone in Canada, who simply was talking to me, for what he could see, and eventually I went out on a couple of one night stands with two other men.

In the midst of this I had started talking to a guy (who was simply a friend at the time ). Almost from the get go it was like he knew my deepest thoughts, dreams and desires, because they were also his. I began to so look forward to our conversations, and we had some deep heavy conversations. We talked about everything from the kitchen sink to world peace, but I didn't care, I felt like for the first time since my teen years someone who really knew me, understood me. He was always concerned with my welfare. Always telling me that I deserved much more than I had gotten, and to not ever settle for less. Then I found out he was also a Christian who had also fallen away from the Lord as I had. I got so excited, because here was someone I was totally falling for, and he was also a Christian, and I could share with him, a part of my life that I hadn't been able to do before. We did eventually get together. He help me a lot with my daughter, and I was more than happy to hand the household responsibilities over to him. See, I'm a little old fashioned, than most women today, in the fact that I truly believe the husband is the head of the house. We lived together for six months ( I would not recommend doing it that way as it's not how God designed things to be ), and got married, because we knew it was the right thing to do in the eyes of God. We have now been together for three years and have a wonderful relationship. He is my hearts desire. I truly adore him. On top of that God restored my relationship with Him in spite of the way I had acted.

Because my husband was working just over an hour away from where we lived at, we were led by the Lord to move up where his job was. It's been the best and greatest thing I've ever done. We began attending the Foursquare Church where we now live, and I can now see that all the training I had learned in my former church, God had used to prepare me for the work He would now have me do here. --- Believer

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