Journey, Part 21a

Journal

Saturday 3-21-09

Well the Lord did it again for the 3rd week in a row, He spoke through Pastor straight to the heart of me. This time He (God) asked me some tough questions, they were good questions, just ones that I at the moment or in my own self simply don't know how to do, But I do hear His heart. I know He wants me to make the right choice. Heck, I want to make the right choice.

It all started at the break when I went to slide some papers under my Care Pastor's office door, that I wanted her to have, and she wasn't at church so I simply slid them under her door. Anyways one of my friends had come with me and on the way back she said she had something to share with me from the Lord, something He had showed her. In her vision she saw two trees in the fall season. There was a light wind blowing, and with the first tree the wind would blow on it and the leaves fell off the tree and to the ground easily. The second tree, the light wind blew on it and only a few leaves fell to the ground, storm after storm began to hit the tree, and it took many storms to get any leaves off the tree. The Lord said first tree are people who are so sensitive to the Lord, that when He speak even in the softest and lightest way, they immediately respond and yield to Him. The second tree are people who want control, and it takes blow after blow, storm after storm, to get them to yield to Him. " THE CHOICE IS MINE ". By no means did I think nor do I think now that she was telling me I'm one or the other, she was just telling me what the Lord told her to tell me. I immediately thought I've been the second tree, but Lord I don't want to be, but I just don't know how to be any other way.

When Pastor began to preach, His lesson topic was " Surrendering to the Lord ". I knew the Lord was obviously speaking to me about Surrendering to Him, but not just a casual surrender either, I mean an all out , hard core surrender to Him with all that I am. I thought Lord I want to do this, I want to be one that yields quickly to Your voice, but I have no clue in how to do that, or even what that looks like. The examples Pastor gave us were Abraham and Issac when God told Abraham to sacrifice Issac, that being the example of living a fully surrendered life. Abraham had no back up plan. He simply followed and obeyed The Lord. The example of not living a fully surrendered life was Jonah. His disobedience not only effected Him, but everyone around him.